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Monday, April 28

There was this guy who loved two gals at the same time but he didn't know which one he loved more. Someone taught him. Ask yourself this question and answer it honestly: "When your are happy, which gal would you want to shares your happiness with?" The one you think of is someone your love. Ask yourself another question and answer it honestly: "When your are sad, which gal you want to shares your burden with?" The one you think of is also someone you love. If you think of the same gal when you are happy & sad, that's the most perfect. But if your don't think of the same gal, I would advice you to chose the one your are willing to share your sadness with. In life, there are more sorrows than happiness. There are too many people that u meet that u can share your happiness with, not necessary your lover. If you live your life happily, your can also enjoy it alone. In sadness, however, there are not many people willing to share your burden with you. If you are willing to tell someone your happiness, I am sure that person has got to be someone close & an understanding person to you. But it shouldn't stop there. If that person only thinks of you when she is happy, but looks for someone else when she is sad, this lover is too unstable, she doesn't treat you as someone she can spend the rest of her life with. Of course, I will be very happy if I am the first person to shares her happiness. But, if she is sad, I will be too willing to stay by her side & ease her pain. Only then, will I believe that I hold a very important position in her heart. If your are sad, who comes to your mind first? Friendship is a strange thing. We find ourselves telling each other the deepest details of our lives...... things we don't ever shares with the families who raised us. But what is a friend? A confidant? A shoulder to cry on? An ear to listen? A heart to feel? A friend is all these.... and more. No matter where we met, no matter how long we've been together... I call you friend. A word so small, yet so large in feeling, a word filled with emotion, a word overflowing with love. Truly great things come in small packages.
Once the package of friendship has been opened, it can never be closed. It is a constant book always waiting.... waiting to be read .... and enjoyed. We may have our disagreements... we may have our disappointments.. we may argue.... we may have concern for one another... friendship is a unique bond that lasts through all tribulations..... A part of each of us goes into our friendships.... our humor... our experiences... our tears. Friendships are foundations... necessary for life.. and love. Friends.. you and me.... you brought anotherfriend and then we were three... we started our group... our circle of no beginning... there is no end.

Heli Dont ask me why 10:23 PM

Sunday, April 27

haiz..been studying for tomorrow's chinese test.. can't get anything into my head. no matter how many times i read through it, it just simply vanish from my brain few seconds after it. My head is burning. And to those out there that's having fears or phobias bout their weak subjects, no point worrying so much. Worrying will get you nowhere. Right, worrying is not going to go and come as you like. Let the worry be a start for all of us to urge ourselves to work even harder. But worried to the extent whereby every second you're thinking bout it, i think that's too much - and unhealthy. Okay.. got to go and study. Chinese, social studies, amath, chemistry, physic test next week... urgh.. tough.. and physic test on sat...mum's birthday too.. okiez.. adios!

Heli Dont ask me why 7:03 PM

A New Strength…
There are times in every life
When we feel hurt or alone…
But I believe that these times
When we feel lost
And all around us seems
To be falling apart
Are really bridges of growth
We struggle and try to recapture
The security of what was,
But almost in spite of ourselves…
We emerge on the other side
With a new understanding,
A new awareness
A new strength
It is almost as though
We must go through the pain
And the struggle
In order to grow
And reach new heights.
~Sue Mitchell

Heli Dont ask me why 12:15 PM

Saturday, April 26

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep.

Heli Dont ask me why 11:51 PM

Thursday, April 24

hatred...simply hatred. that's the word.

Heli Dont ask me why 5:59 PM

Sunday, April 20

Your Existing Situation
Not only considers her demands minimal, but also regards them as imperative. Sticks to them stubbornly and will concede nothing.

Your Stress Source
Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhabits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.

Your Restrained Characterisitics
Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense.

Wants to broaden her fields of activity and insists that her hopes and ideas are realistic. Distressed by the fear that she may be prevented from doing what she wants; needs both peaceful conditions and quiet reassurance to restore her confidence.

Your Desired Objective
Desires a tranquil, peaceful state of harmony offering quiet contentment and a sense of belonging.

Your Actual Problem
Wants to be valued and respected, and seeks this from a close and peaceful association of mutual esteem.

took this test long ago, somehow found it quite accurate. don't know if you find this true? comments?

Heli Dont ask me why 1:57 PM

Friday, April 18

Anybody noticed i am not myself lately? or am i just feeling that way when i am just my usual self? Start not to understand myself once more.. why must this circle keep on repeating? one minute i thought i understand myself well, then another day i will start doubting myself... am i not being truthful to myself? or just contradictions which cannot be avoided? can somebody please help me?

Heli Dont ask me why 10:44 PM

Monday, April 14

first day of school..hm..nuthing much to comment.. juz glad that school is back to normal. Don't know, i just like things as usual. Juz cannot stand changes, resistant to it. NOt that i like school so much kay..I don't like missing lesson, can't catch up with the curriculum, juz don't like things the rash way. Moreover this is my O level year..lost actually one and half week of curriculum time.

Actually, studying is not about everything. Its just a period of time whereby you just put in your effort to achieve and be rewarded a certificate, to go out to the society to get the job. Some people may choose to heck care their studies then after that they will regret, it would be too late then. Some people may think that studying, is so important that they study so hard. Study hard is still okay, but the problem with people is, they expect their hard work to pay off. Theoretically speaking, it will pay off (i mean that's what i believe..), but yet it doesn’t come instantaneously. For some of you, you failed, and you tell yourself to work harder the next time, with the thought that "I will work harder and i am must produce good results the next time." It does not exactly work this way...

Hard work doesn’t mean success immediately. You can do 100 math sums, 100 compos..at the end of the day, there's no assurance that you will get your A1s. Be patient. Sometimes heaven or god juz seems to be playing a fool on us. Do not panic or turn pessimistic once you think you tried so many times, and yet each time you still fail. Stay strong, never never never give up.(familiar? that’s what mr lee said last year..) Really, look at your failure at another view. Don't see it as a failure, see it as you haven't succeed. You will find that, you will work even harder the next time round. Each time you fail, just don't think that, "hey..i put in so much effort, why.. why am i still failing... i am tired manz.." Get this thought outa your head guys! What can you do? Sit down there and cry? Wait for some angel to come help you? If you don't even want to help yourself, you don't expect anybody to help you.

Frankly, i am saying all these is to try and convince myself, convince all those that are facing these. Actually i am in no position to say all these because i myself had not totally gone through all the stages, am i am stuck at the part whereby i am still failing. But, i am not going to give up. And i hope all of you don't. And if there's this circumstances where in the exams or whatsoever, you still did not achieve it, tell yourself, you had done your best.

I believe hardwork will pay off, miracles will happen. Give yourself another chance to prove it, and you can do it.

Heli Dont ask me why 7:21 PM

Sunday, April 13

yeshz..finish math liaoz..now i am only left with 2 chemistry tys essay question..and i am free liaoz..phew...din expect myself to wake up...=)

Heli Dont ask me why 11:39 AM

4 plus in the morning..juz finish 2 compos and some maths sums...Last day of "hols"..and i am still struggling to complete my hwk.. arhz..i have no one to blame but myself..kept on procastinating..hm..left 1 more compo, few more math questions, chem tys essay question, geog online assignment..think that's about it. But still got tests to study... bahz.. i am not that dead tired now..find that this hols, my time had turned upside down. I "work" in the night.. sleep in the day.. dunno how am i going to tune back to normal. Hm..just now came online and saw youcai..suppose to help him delete the tag board code away..in the end i dont' know delete away wad..his left hand column all gone..sorry cai..i free i help you do back..pai sehz..i guess i was half-asleep..arhz..an hour later, my dad will be awake and of to go pray..got the dates mixed up..today is qing ming jie..duhz..i don't know about all these lunar calender thingy. Hm..kkz..i go and sleep liaoz... hope i can wake up by 11 in the morning..nitez bugs..

Heli Dont ask me why 4:05 AM

Saturday, April 12

Went out to celebrate ck's bday today. Went his house at 3 plus and caught him in surprise. Haha.. chee kean, happy birthday man! 16 years old liaoz..hm..must be more mature in everything k?all the best in your future endeavours!! Hm.. then our group did talked about many things..about what we will be doing in the future etc. Sumhow, i muz agree that, juz talkings can really make a person feel relax. You get to talk about so much things, and there's no worries behind it. And most of all, i had come to a decision. Since i don't really have family love, i think, having friends would probably be enough? I know many going to think that my way of thinking is childish and not thinking on the whole enough. Some may even comment that i am just being selfish. Okay, i admit i am selfish. I don't want to help make the family a better one. Maybe my this action is rash or whatever you call it. I think, i am well just leaving by myself and my friends. As for my family, i am going to leave things as it is. I am not going to blame anyone if i think my family sux..but myself. Hm..right now, i think i will just concentrate on 3 things: school, studies, friends. That's it.

Heli Dont ask me why 12:07 AM

Thursday, April 10

wahaha..today got one big joke to share with you guys..today jinglin, michelle came my house to do banner again. 3 of us were outside doing it, then my house door was left open. Well, weather today was good and WINDY! The wind came and blew the door shut! When the door closed, i stared at the door. Oops..we are stuck outside...and for bout 2 hrs plus..lucky we did manged to get selina to come over. Wow..our hp, everything inside the house..totally penniless..Selina is the savior manz. She bought us tibits and pepsi..Then my dad came. Haha..he came all the way from bukit batok to come and open the door and went back. Touch huh? haha.. this will teach me not to leave keys in the house when i am outside. Kz..bet most of you are luffing till peng now...-_-'''
anyway, banner almost done. Yes..finally... juz got to hang the words up. And many thanks to selina, michelle, jinglin who came and help today. hm.. realize i got plenty of homework to rush through with 3 days left. Hm..somemore i had to do some revision and prepare for tests next week. well..hols gonna over..school starting soon.. my life will be hectic once more. lOlz..

Heli Dont ask me why 11:14 PM

Wednesday, April 9

Today went out with jinglin and rest of them. Not really go out lah, but meet up only. Pass to jinglin and cass some stuffs, then we went off to long john to settle our dinner. Hm..saw cass journal juz now.. "but wheneva im with them..i just feel kinda odd..maybe not outcast..not extra...but still...aiya..just kinda weird.." hm..? hmm..actually i don't think she is the only one.. Anyway, i think i also feel very out of place lately. Just not my usual self lately and i can't find the reason why too. Hm..once again i f am losing myself. Sometimes really.. juz beginning of this hols, had been doing lots of personality test, trying know myself.. well... i think i find myself living in those descriptions instead. Hm..initially wanted to know more about myself..well..certain things just has its side effects..Aiya...feeling so numb.phew.. i think a lot of things stuck up within myself again.....=I

Heli Dont ask me why 11:31 PM

Tuesday, April 8

past few days had been going out. Go stadium run, gym, if not play badminton. I think i am getting a bit siao. Well, today wake up early in the morning juz to go hg stadium play badminton. Wow.. in the end only few turn up. And sumore play only from 8 - 9am.. coz after that think got match..den cannot book. well, went to have breakfast and buy cake before heading to meet the guys. Hm.. Anyway, want to wish chee kean a happy birthday worz!!(sorry lah.. today neva celebrate properly...hehe...) hope you like the prezzie we gave! and also want to wish you all the best in your endeavours and good luck in your O's this year! hm.. we went play bball today and badminton.. and netball... haha.. the weather today damn "good".. rain.... stop.... rain.... stop.... haha.. tried playing in the rain today, but kana scolded by friends. haha.. kkz.. very maloo, shan't talk about that. Then went to settle our dinner cum lunch at souel garden. Wow, wait for some ppl till so late. And sumore i get scolded for "spoiling" her lehz.. wahaha... kkz.. had a "wonderful dinner"... and i think we are once again blacklisted by another fast food restaurant.. haha.. den went to youcai house after that go talked.. actually, i find that lately when we gathered together, there's like nothing to talk about? or what is happening? hm..? people, got problem muz say out kkz? =)

Heli Dont ask me why 11:01 PM

Juz to add on to my 4th April entry, hm.. i find that no matter how i work it out, it dosen't work. Passing it on to one's parents or teachers does not make it any easier. One begins to feel responsible(or maybe me only?) for making them worry. The list for my worries is never ending. Maybe not worries alone, thoughts and feelings are always moving around up in my head. It really has becum a part of me i guess. Talk so much bout my family problems yesterday, come to realise: actually i care, but juz choose to run away from the whole thing. Hm... don't want tok about it lahz. Hm.. but just want tell you all lorz.. when got problem comes your way, don't run away from it. Muz quickly settle it and if cannot, SOS!! Don't let it drag and drag, till the problem turns big, then god bless you. Like me, family is like...?? Gonna hard for me to face it.. hm.. but don't worry... ni meng xin mu zhong de yong gang he li will face it de.. haha.. i sounds exaggerating? well... actually i post so much of this kind.. don't you guys feel sianz?

hm.. SARS not getting any better.. though many discharged, but i think its serious. Well, take care people. Eat more fruits, drink more water. And go finish homework lahz.. keep on doing your blogs.. waste time.. kkz.. take care folks! ( ' ' , )

Heli Dont ask me why 12:12 AM

Saturday, April 5

Post this in the channelnewsasia webpage forum juz now.

I appreciated the government's good intention to close school for another week in order to control the spread of the SARS to many other innocents. However, by closing another week, it would mean that the curriculum time would be affected. Students will have much lesser time to catch up with the syllabus. Although the June holidays had been shortened, i myself as a student don't think its fair either. Normal holidays would allow students to go out as usual. However due to SARS, I believe many students will not be allow to go out as their parents afraid that they might be infected with the disease. During this break, many students should stay at home and revise, but this is an earlier holiday break of one week. And by right, I think it should be a week for students to rest and enjoy, I suppose? I hope the government will review the extension of holiday. Maybe few days later, if the situation have calmed down, I hope school will resume as per normal as soon as possible. And i hereby hope that Singaporeans please do not treat those nurses, doctors, those being quarantine and those recovered from SARS. I mean you put yourself in their shoes, would you want people to look at you with different angle? They do not want to be infected too in the first place. It's not their fault to be down with SARS. As Singaporeans, i think we should try and help each other instead of pinpointing each other and made unpleasant remarks. At, this point of time, all of us should be united as one to fight the disease. Nurses and doctors are risking their life too to save the patients; I think we ought to thank them instead of treating them with bias. I would like to take this opportunity to wish that those down with SARS would be all right. Students, if you want to go out, think twice first. Though it’s not that easy to be down with SARS, however there's the risk of getting it too. If students take this holiday and go out to have fun, go to those crowded area, I think it would defeats the government purpose of extending the holidays. Let's just hope that everybody will be all right and hope that things will go back to normal as soon as possible.

Heli Dont ask me why 3:32 PM

haiz..bet you guys are still sleeping..in your dreams perhaps..at this time.. i am still cracking my brains, thinking of what to do with my banner..wonder how come i have so much passion in my house..heli..house captain? hm... what do you guys think..? "Jaguar House will clinch the championship 2003 once again...?" hm.. anyway, had couple of bad dreams about house stuff..argh...don't think i will post them out..well...can't say for sure who's gonna win.. anyway, couple of hours before i going to pray my mum... today's QIng Ming Jie.. yeah.. pay respects to her.. and of coz my granddad too.. somehow, not that i am sensitive, i think, my dad is more concern bout my granddad den my mum.. hm... nvm.. i am just feeling nostalgia about my mum's death.. hm.. kkz. shall say no more... sleep titez ppl.. hope tomorrow's a better day for you guys...

Heli Dont ask me why 1:22 AM

Friday, April 4

I often realize that it is easy to tell others not to worry, but less easy to take such advice oneself. We often say to others “Relax, everything will be okay,” or “Never mind, everything is over.” This is perhaps the right way to behave, but it is a very difficult action I suppose, for worrying is not a conscious activity. Some people worry more than others because they are made this way. Others worry but do not show it too much because they cover it with their laughter and their lighthearted behavior. Hm… agree?

Heli Dont ask me why 11:08 PM

Thursday, April 3

“life don’t sux..”
That’s what many of my friends said to me… In fact, I sort of agree too. Life sux only when things go wrong, when things don’t appear the way you want to. But, life is just full of “up”s and “down”s, and we’ve to accept it. Sometimes when things go wrong, just tell yourself that, since you have your downs, later part, you will have your up. Learn to overcome the struggles in life, the hurdles in the race…Friends, when you meet with difficulties, never give up. Life is beautiful and we should cherish it. It is not the length not the breadth of the road that matters. It is how interesting the journey can be. Live life to the fullest, never take the people around you for granted. When I say all these, I don’t mean empty sayings. I hope this will go out to each and every one of you. And I hope, you guys can apply it in your life.
In every life, there will be joy as well as sorrow and we would all grieve. When we encounter problems, it’s up to us to decide how much life’s twist and turns affect us.

Heli Dont ask me why 11:26 PM

Wednesday, April 2

Why Mothers Cry?

Why are you crying?" he asked his mom. "Because I'm a mother," she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His mom just hugged him and said, "You never will!" Later the little boy asked his father why Mother seemed to cry for no reason. "All mothers cry for no reason," was all his dad could say. The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why mothers cry. So he finally put in a call to God and when God got on the phone the man said, "God, why do mothers cry so easily." God said, "You see son, when I made mothers they had to be special. I made their shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave them an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times come from their children. "I gave them a hardiness that allows them to keep going when everyone else gives up, and to take care of their families through sickness and fatigue without complaining. "I gave them the sensitivity to love their children under all circumstances, even when their child has hurt them very badly. This same sensitivity helps them to make a child's boo-boo feel better and helps them share a teenager's anxieties and fears. "I gave them a tear to shed. It's theirs exclusively to use whenever it's needed. It's their only weakness. It's a tear for mankind."

I am not a christian. But find this quite meaningful. Take a look.

Heli Dont ask me why 11:48 PM

Tuesday, April 1

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.

Heli Dont ask me why 7:30 PM

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